Etiquette & Manners is something often discussed on some of my of the writer loops I belong to as they pertain to the 19th century. Through Google books I've found a great source of books regarding such topics. Below is a list ordered by the year they were published. I've gathered this resource list over the past two years from Google Books. Hope it helps you in your search for proper behavior in the time period of your setting.
1832 Domestic Manners of the Americans
1835 Pencil Sketches
1837 The Young Lady's Friend
1839 Miss Leslie's Behavior Book
1842 Elegant Extracts
1843 Etiquette or, A Guide to The Usages of Society with a Glance at Bad Habits
1854 Etiquette Social Ethics and the Curtiousy of Society
1854 The Behavior Book
1860 The Gentlemen's Book of Etiquette and Manners
1860 The Hand Book of Etiquette
1866 Marine's Sensible Letter Writer
1868 Manners or Happy Homes
1870 Good Manners a Manual of Ediquette
1872 The Ladie's Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness
1873 The Gentlemen's Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness
1884 Don't: A Manual of Mistakes and Improprieties More or Less
1889 American Etiquette and Rules of Politeness
1889 Perfect Etiquette or How to Behave in social...
1892 Etiquette An Answer to the Riddle, When? Where? How?
1896 Social Etiquette or Manners and Customs of Polite Society
1897 Manners for Men
1897 Practical Letter Writing
1899 Twenty Letters in Letter Writing and Business